Jerry was truly getting frustrated. If Daina was still alive in that crystal, the magic the Queen
was now using to make him over with was probably killing her. Already, he was
dressed in a white prom gown, looking more like a butch 16 year old girl than a 18 year old man.
"See, you need to wear more gold, girl," Queen Kareen said, conjuring up a filigree chain with her staff. She placed it on Jerry's neck and conjured up a mirror for him to look in. He gazed into it halfheartedly, agreeing without thinking that gold truly brought out the highlights in his hair. Presently, he was trying to make mental contact with Daina...
daina, please, if you're there, talk to me!
(groan) gimme a topic.
daina, thank god! are you
okay?
yes, there's a certain joy in actually having magic drained from your
body, not unlike being crushed in an automatic icemaker.
great, then we're both gonna
die. queen kareen's out here
coloring me beautiful and using your magic to do it.
we
can't die here, jer; that would be against the
reality law.
which
states?
that
no being in here can actually kill me since I created them all unless I gave
them to power to do so.
did you
forget your little "what if" about this woman?
my
wh...oh, no...
oh, yes. which means not only are you toast, but so am i.
jerry,
we gotta do something; i'm
not interested in death right now! there's a fairy in
here who's...jeez, she's turned into crystal right next to me!
just gimme a minute, i'm tryina think of something...
well, hurry, 'cause we're running out of...
Another zap from Queen Kareen brought him back to attention with Daina's scream of pain still echoing in his head.
"That's it!" snapped the Queen. "I have had it up to here with you not listening to me. Say
goodnight, Gracie...!"
"Wait!" Jerry shouted.
"I can't die here!"
"Why?"
Jerry faltered. "The colors
here are all wrong," he said timidly.
Queen Kareen
looked around briefly, then shook her head.
"Uh-uh, green grass goes with everything. Brings out
your eye color."
"For real, though?" Jerry
asked, almost forgetting his purpose.
"Mm-hmm.
Die," she said, so calmly that had she not pointed her staff at Jerry and
begun draining his very magic essence from him, he would have thought she was
kidding.
By the time the pain stopped, Jerry
was oblivious to its presence. In fact, all he was attuned to was the lone
voice he heard shouting out...
"Stop!!!!"
Queen Kareen
whirled around to where Thom and Christine stood, about 10 feet away.
"What?" she demanded.
Thom jumped visibly. "Ooo, did I say that?"
"Yes, you did!" said the Queen.
"Well, I didn't mean it ..." he faltered.
"Yes, he did and you're busted!" shouted Christine. "Let Jerry
go."
"You wanna
make me?" said the Queen,
raising her staff toward the two.
"Wait!" Thom protested. "Not with magic. I don't have
any."
"That's right, invite her to kill you," said
Christine softly.
"So we, uh...have to, uh fight ... uh, on my terms," Thom stammered, thinking as he spoke.
"Which are?" Queen Kareen asked.
"Uh..." Thom shrugged, not
sure what to say.
"Get the staff from her!"
Chris added, again under her breath.
"Okay, the diva with the least
magic gets the staff. Deal?" The Queen and
Christine gave Thom a withering look and he shrugged. "Well, I'm under
pressure here!" he protested.
"The first," said Queen Kareen, "and best
dressed diva wins the staff. Deal?"
Thom looked at Jerry, who was lying
almost virginal in a white dress on the ground. He was just coming to life
again and was definitely not being very supportive. Thom took a deep breath, then said "Deal!"
"Deal?" hissed Christine.
"How're you gonna get dressed up? You don't even
have any clothes!"
"Yes, but I have you, magic
child," returned Thom under his breath to her. "Ready, dear?"
"Ready like Freddy!"
snapped the Queen.
"Then go!
Queen Kareen
jabbed her staff at the ground, then became enveloped in a whirl of dust. As
she did, Thom leaned over and whispered in Christine's ear. Chris gave him an
odd look, then shook her head.
"What-ever," she said,
then closed her eyes and pointed to Thom. He, too, became enshrouded in dust,
just as the cyclone around Queen Kareen dissipated.
"Ha!" she laughed.
"I'm done, so I won!" She stood looking like Tina
Turner in black leather with a mini skirt, jacket and brassiere that gave the
most realistic cleavage ever seen. She cracked a whip at her side and sang,
"I got the stuff that you want, I got the thing
that you need..."
"You may be the first, honey,
but I am the best!" Thom
replied. The dust about him dissipated as well, leaving him standing in a very
elegant red floor length sequined gown reminiscent of many a
The Queen glared at Thom unfeelingly
for a moment, then strode over to him. She glanced up and down at him, as if
taking in the sight with disdain, then thrust the
staff at his feet. "Bitch," she said, snapping her fingers once. She
whirled around, took two steps and disappeared in a swirl of wind and grass.
No one spoke for a moment.
"That's it," Christine
said at last. "I'm not getting into anymore fights between gay people.
It's too weird. Give me straight magic."
"I won," Thom gasped.
"We won!" He turned to Christine
and hugged her, then dashed over to Jerry, picking up his skirts as he ran.
"Jerry, we won, girl, we won!"
Jerry, however, did not answer. He
looked ashen and almost doll-like on the ground. Thom knelt beside him, just as
Chris joined them.
"He's dying," she said,
examining him. "He's almost lost all his magic."