Pervading Interactive Stress Syndrome (PISS)
Part
4
The
four wolves circling Jerry and Daina right now knew
he was outnumbered and so did Jerry himself. He was really starting to
get...well, concerned. A sort of light yellow mist was forming in the air near
him and he could swear that the damn thing was talking to him, telling him how
bad it would be if he were to mess up right now, or if he were to get injured
out here with no antibacterial soap. The more worried he got, the thicker it
became and the more sense it started to make, so he was trying his best to stay
calm.
He
paced back and forth in front of Daina, who was still
sleeping. He was developing an itch right behind his ear that he wanted to sit
down and scratch, but he had to maintain his stance or risk losing the
impending fight. The wolves were going to leap at any moment, he knew, but they
were waiting, biding their time. They knew he wasn't going to make the first
move.
It
did help that some of his more lupine instincts had begun to develop under this
stressful situation; his cold eyes, his keen sense of smell, his fur and claws.
Daina continued to sleep, although now she was jerking
about slightly, as if dreaming. The wolves began to eye her suspiciously, as if
seeing her for the first time.
It
was now or never.
Almost
silently, Jerry sprung at the nearest wolf and sunk his teeth into its
shoulder...
I
was having the most bizarre dream. Jerry and I were talking about
something or other, something about stress and he was turning into a wolf right
in front of me. The whole time we talked, I could hear Alan laughing, Christine
crying, Naomi moaning about her head and Joshua arguing with someone over whose
turn it was to ride the elephant.
So
it was no wonder that when I woke up to find a wolf sailing over my head into
another one, I immediately murmured, "Hi, Jerry."
It
was a great and awakening surprise when the wolf, having downed his prey in a
great flurry of blood and fur, turned to me briefly and said, "Hi, Dain;
watch your back!"
I
turned just in time to find two more wolves leaping, one at me and the other at
Jerry(?). I ducked and powerballed
simultaneously, making two wolf cubs out of the ferocious beasts, just as they
went past me. They landed in my lap and began to tug at each other's ears
playfully. I watched them for a moment with a satisfied smile, then looked up again to watch Jerry whirl on another wolf
and tear mercilessly into its throat. It fell to the ground with a yelp, convulsed
briefly and was still.
I
heard another growl nearby and saw the third wolf before Jerry did.
"Jerry, look out!" I yelled, just as a third wolf jumped on his back
and nipped dangerously at his neck. Jerry howled in pain, but before I could
help him, he did an almost humanlike(???) backflip and turned on his attacker. He dealt him a heavy
handed swipe with his paw and the wolf galloped away with a yelp. A crash in
the underbrush behind me told me the rest of the attackers had thought the
better of their ambush plan and taken flight as well.
Of
course, this still left me with two wolf pups, two dead wolves and one wolf
dripping blood from his fangs who I was hoping desperately I could still call
my friend.
"Uh,
Jerry," I began, "if it's really you, you kinda
went lupine on me."
The
wolf eyed me curiously, as if coolly deciding whether or not I was his next
victim. It walked over to me slowly then paced behind me and stood there. I was
really starting to believe I had imagined the whole Jerry thing when suddenly I
felt hot breath on my neck. I cringed, waiting for the pain...and got a
slobbery wet kiss on my cheek instead.
"Some
of us deal with stress differently," he said. "Feeling better?"
I
flopped backward on the ground in relief and he sat near my head, looking down
at me with a grin still stained with blood. "Holy jump-up Jesus palomina, Jerry, I almost soiled my pants,
man!"
"You
did look funny, though," he laughed.
"Wipe
your mouth; you're dripping on me," I groaned, turning away slightly.
"Sorry,"
he said, rubbing his face into the grass, then lying
down.
I
watched him in mild surprise as he began to lick a claw wound on his shoulder.
"I can't believe how totally like a wolf you look. And act." I said.
He
paused briefly to say, "So much for needing antibacterial soap," then
continued. After a few moments of us both recuperating, he asked, "So,
what's your problem?"
"Nothin', I'm fine now," I replied, scratching behind
his ears. "Y'know, you're actually kinda cute, in a lupine sorta
way."
His
hind leg began to kick and I knew this was still my Jerry. "Thanks,"
he sighed, sounding more like he was purring. "And that's not what I
meant. I meant what's been wrong with you lately."
"I'm
serious, I'm doin' fine," I shrugged.
He
growled low at me and looked up. "You gonna try
lying to me in this form?" he asked menacingly.
He
did have a point.
"What's
been wrong with me lately," I repeated, closing my eyes with a sigh.
"Aside from watching one of my closest friends morph on me, I've got a list
the size of
"What
the hell didja do that for?" I gasped, still
breathing heavy from the shock.
"I
was losing you," he said. "Now try again, one thing at a time."
"Well..."
I began, still somewhat frightened, "...first of all, I've got
this...cloud following me around..."
"Yellow?"
he asked, letting me up. "Kinda
misty, really annoying?"
"Yeah,
how'd you know?" I returned, sitting up.
"I
had that same problem," he replied, lying down again.
"You've
got one, too?" I asked. "Where is it?"
"It
was mine, so you couldn't see it, like I couldn't see yours. It disappeared
when I stopped worrying about it."
"Well,
mine's not that easy..." I began, then put a hand
over my mouth. "Wait, I don't want to bring it back."
"You're
gonna have to," Jerry said. "It's just like
any other stressful situation, except in your mind, it becomes real.
You're just gonna have to hit it one thing at a time.
Now, what's your biggest problem?"
I
winced nervously, looking around for the cloud, then
said, "Tenderloins."
Jerry
looked up and began to drool slightly. "This we can start with," he
grinned.