The Sprite & the Fairyhunter:  Quality Time

 

Room 5 (The Mimic)

 

            The door wasn’t quite as tricky as the trap, Neena realized rather belatedly…

            The first spear stuck her in the shoulder, annoying her beyond belief. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she muttered, healing herself quickly. “I keep forgetting to pull the second lynch pin before I move the internal mechanism. Lucky I wasn’t standing right in front of it, huh?”

            Adrian’s whimper made her whirl about just in time to catch her husband, the human pincushion, going down with 6 spears sticking out of him. Without a second thought, she leapt to her feet, yanked three of the spears from his chest and quickly put her hands on him to close the wounds. His lung barely had time to collapse before she was working on the one in his leg.

“I DID, in fact, tell you NOT to get close to the doors when I’m working,” she sighed, yanking it out as he grimaced in pain.

            “How is 10 feet close?” he gasped, watching the holes in his chest close up.

            “It’s a dungeon, honey…ANYthing is close.” After yanking the ones out of his shoulder, she stood up, pointing the bloody end of the spear at him meaningfully. “Now, the door is open, so do NOT touch ANYTHING or stand near me when I open this next thing, okay?”

            “As long as you promise not to chastise me with my own flesh on a stick, I’m down with anything,” he winced, using a finger to tilt the spear away from his face.

            “Deal,” she smirked, then got up to crack and peer through the door. She smiled at the sight of the three chests along the wall. “Hey, we might have some luck at last!” she grinned, entering the room. Adrian followed warily, but became less worried as he saw the chests as well.

“Finally some real rewards!” he said, starting toward them.

“Ah-ah-ah? What did I say?”

“But it’s just…?”

“And you’ve NEVER seen a chest with traps before?” she demanded.

“And on THAT note,” he admitted, taking a step back and to the side.

“Good boy.” She turned her attention to the chests, mentally clocking all the possible angles. A pressure plate in the floor? Lock coated with poison? Small darts as you open the lid?

Finally, after she was reasonably sure the chest was safe, she opened it and found herself rummaging through quite a bit of…nothing. “Slim pickings,” she sighed. “A little gold and some expensive vinegar…what the hell are you DOING???” The last bit she directed to Adrian as he went sprawling against her.

“Aww, HELL naw!” he growled, whipping his lute from his shoulder and swinging viciously at…the chest in the corner?

“Adrian…?”

“It sniped me from behind!” he shouted, backing up and drawing his bow.

She looked at the chest again and frowned. “I’m pretty sure that…WHOA!!!” Without warning, the chest reared up, causing her natural instinct to kick in. She leapt back herself, pulling her sling and whirling it around to whack the chest solidly with a lead ball. Adrian loosed two arrows into it and they sunk in as if the chest were flesh instead of wood.

“Wait!” it yelped, huddling back against the wall.

“Call me crazy, but boxes aren’t supposed to talk,” Adrian frowned, his hand already in his quiver for another arrow.

“The box HITS you and you immediately make the mental jump, but it TALKS to you and you can’t go there?” Neena looked at her husband, who gave her a glance, then directed his next words to the box.

“Why should we?”

“Because I can do things for you!” it explained hurriedly. “I’m a mimic. I can make you into the world’s greatest diplomat. People will listen to whatever you say!”

“Funny, but I think I’m having that same effect right now,” said Adrian, casually nocking an arrow in the chest’s direction. Neena had to give it to her spouse…he definitely had a way with words…! She popped another ball into her sling and gave it a meaningful spin.

“Wait, wait, I…I can give you more than that!” the chest pleaded, its very hinges quivering.

“Yeah, well, stop talkin’ and start donatin’, box boy,” Adrian snapped, pulling the bow string back with an ominous creak.  Without warning, gold began to spill from the back of the chest to the floor. Neena mentally added as she watched it clink while Adrian kept a verbal count. “10…25…40….that all you could crap up?” Adrian demanded. Neena stifled a giggle as Adrian’s insolence produced another pile of gold.  “50, maybe 60…come on, we coulda gotten that off the zombie minotaur we killed!” The box’s wood seemed to pale to a light yellow, then a bright green emerald shot from its rear. “Oh, jackpot!” Adrian laughed. “I hate to think what THAT woulda done to your drawers, Boxie! Or are you a girl? I could call you Chesty!”

The chest darkened again, looking almost embarrassed as it crept back into the corner. “Now will you leave me alone?” it whimpered.

“Sure I will…just one more thing,” Adrian grinned, advancing quickly on the chest.

“What are you doing? Stay back!” the chest demanded. Adrian closed in, then bent over the box for a moment.

“Adrian, don’t get too close to…” she began, then paused. He was already standing up with a quill in his hand that he must have pulled from his vest. As he backed away, she could now see ink on the lid spelling out the words “I am a mimic.”

“Next door?” he asked, with a wink.

“Next door!” she laughed, shaking her head and turning to check the lock…

 

 

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