The Story of Patty Cow
In a little place called Greener Pastures, Patricia Cow and her sisters live a
rather peaceful and happy existence. Not much happened in Greener Pastures; in
fact, most of the time, the girls sat around fanning their backs with their
tails and munching on regurgitated food while they posed, the way cows will,
for humans driving by. When the day's "work" was over, however, the
girls would go back to the stable and watch Moe Bull and his Fly Swatting Girls
in their new tv show,
"In Living Cow-lor".
"That Moe Bull is just sooooo bovine,"
Belle Cow would say.
"He's udderly gorgeous," Bessie would
agree.
"What a load of BULL!" Henrietta would said
admiringly. And even Patricia agreed that watching Moe swing his longhorns
around on stage gave her a jittery feeling in her third stomach.
One night, at the end of the show, Moe announced that one of his Fly Swatting
girls was leaving the show to sing for Bluebell Ice Cream commercials and that
he would be touring the country looking for a replacement.
Naturally, the Cow Girls were thrilled. The spent all their time, when the weren't posing for passers-by, practicing the dance
steps they'd seen on Moe's show. Patty, however, wasn't as heavy on her feet as
her sisters and so she just couldn't get the hang of it.
Finally the day came when Moe Bull visited Greener Pastures. His first stop was
at the Cow Girls Stable.
"Ladies, I wanna see some udders wiggling, some
tails jiggling and no giggling," said Moe. "You'll be dancing with me
and each one of you will get a turn."
Henrietta went first, then Belle, then Bessie. Each one of them was certainly a
wonderful dancer. They twirled around with Moe, dancing until each one was out
of breath.
Then it was Patty's turn. She was terrified, but she knew she had to try. The
music came on and she took a deep breath, then she grabbed Moe by the hooves
and whirled away. In fact, they danced and turned so hard that Moe was thrown
off his feet into the crowd of cows that had gathered to watch.
"You're hired!!!" he gasped...then he was taken to the vet and put
into traction for a month.
Patty, meanwhile, took his place as the announcer and made the show a hit in
every stable across the UPA (United Pastures of America).
The moral of this tale is...you don't have to really be good at anything, but
when the time comes to face the music, you better be able to sling Moe Bull
faster and better than anyone else.