Too Old For This Crap

Part 2

 

 

            Dammit, man, we need more power!” yelled Josh.

            “I canna give her anymore, Captain, she’ll blow!” shouted Stevie in reply. “Besides, I can’t think of anything else more interesting.”

            Josh sighed and sat back on his heels against one of Daina’s many file cabinets. His best friend might have actually been the world’s greatest spectral junior warlock, but when it came to making mental images, Stevie made “War and Peace” look like a Rainbow Brite picture book.

            “How can I make your mental images real if all you can give me is words, ya foolish!

            “Look, fairy breath, I can’t make everything in my head that interesting...it’s old herbs and boring stuff. Anyway, only little kids need color.”

            Josh squinted at his friend, ready to jump him. Being nearly six, however, he curbed his anger and tongue the way any six year old boy does...with little success.

            “Shut uuuup!” he snapped, shoving Stevie.

            You shut up!” Stevie replied in kind.

            “No, you shut up!” Josh retorted.

            “No, you shut up!”

            “YOU!”

            YOU!”

            “Man...!” They both jumped up, then paused as Josh remembered that being born with one-quarter fairy blood in him hadn’t ever given him the height or weight advantage. He faltered a moment, then said, “Fr’real, though, man, we gotta get more stuff if we’re gonna make a crunch bigger than that tv commercial.”

            “I dunno,” said Stevie, dropping the previous subject just as quickly, “1000 75-watt light bulbs in a pink convertible dropping off a 15 story building is pretty good.”

            “Yeah, but magic is better!” protested Josh. “We could make the crunch of the century, man! Now just try hard to think of stuff that blows up good and I’ll use my power to make it real for us.”

            Stevie shrugged and frowned again in concentration. “Nitroglycerin,” he said aloud.

            Ooo, sounds cool! What’s it look like?” Josh asked.

            “A lot better than a nuclear reaction would, but worse than dynamite.”

            “That’s just the effect, not the stuff,” said Josh. “I need you to picture this stuff in your head so I can make the image to work with.”

            “Wait a second!” shouted Stevie. “We’re going about this all wrong, man! If I can imagine the explosion, you can make it real!”

            “Well, yeah, I guess...but then we’d get hurt and the whole file room would get destroyed.”

            “No, that’s the cool part! We just imagine the noise, not the destruction. It’ll work!”

            “Are you sure?”

            “Of course I’m sure!”

            Josh paused thoughtfully, but Stevie’s excitement was contagious. “Okay, let’s do it!”

            “Okay, get ready...I’m thinking...”

            Josh and Stevie both began to concentrate, then slowly counted, “3...2...1...”

 

 

            Sound is an interesting concept. A sound is actually a series of vibrations in the air that your eardrums catch and relay to the brain which, in turn, translates the sound into a specific association for you. Some sounds translate to mean “bird” or “car” or “book dropping” or even “loud bang--bomb variety”.

            Some sounds literally scramble the brain into alert relays, like “gunshot--duck!” or “creaky floorboard--look behind you!”

            A select few sounds are never really classified by the brain and go into either the “what was that” range or “what the HELL was that” range. In my head, these either translate out to “oh, nothing” or ”mass-destruction--KILL THE BOY”....

 

 

 

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